MY PATH - By Violet Rene
2013 - My late Wife suggested very seriously to me that I would make a good looking woman! Unbelievable, but after several more "Yes! Really's" from my Wife (whom was always right!) I asked Her to Transform me. She gave me the "Dolling Up". I remember my Daughter sitting on my lap (so I couldn't move!) while she plucked my eye brows to give me that sexy arch! My Wife did my hair and makeup. New outfit! Hoseiry! I felt very silly until I looked in the bathroom mirror. WOW! I felt a peaceful easy feeling with my new appearance and I felt like smiling!Back then I thought I would become an occasional Cross Dresser, but within two or three months I knew that I wanted to be a Woman 24/7. I wanted to start HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), but my Wife did not approve due to the medical risks and the fact that her previous Husband was also Transgender. So I honored my Wife's wishes and tried to be content with just cross dressing, but I needed to Transition.
2016 - My Wife died from Cancer. After much sorrow I realized that I was all on my own and free to Transition. My only concern was if my adult daughters would accept me.
November 2016 - Reported my Wife's death to OHP (Oregon Health Plan - Medicaid) I was re-instated immediately with Eye, Dental, Drug and Medical coverage. I then immediately called several listings in attempt to find a prescriber for HRT. After calling many numbers and hearing "NO" I finally found a Doctor that said "YES!". My advice is to try your local Women's Clinic for a Prescriber. You don't have to go with an Endocrinologist! My Women's Clinic is wonderful! Everyone there is accepting and friendly towards me. My Nurse there is an Angel! She's the lovely lady that got me started AND she provided referrals for both Top and Bottom surgeries for me! My "Letters of Reccomendation" came from my Counselors that I had already been seeing. "Informed Consent" is our friend ladies! Use it and bypass the red tape!
My Surgery Referrals were sent to OHSU - Oregon Health & Science University. They have an awesome Transgender Health Program and I very highly reccomend it! Just a couple days after my visit to the Women's Clinic I was called for scheduling both surgeries!
Unfortunately for myself OHSU is 5 hours away from Home and I had no transportation because after my Wife died I had to sell our Truck. There was no way that I could afford it on my small monthly income of $1,047, but as I discovered back then Medicaid provides Transportation for Medical appointments!  
January 2017 - My first appointment for Breast Augmentation! So exciting! Only a three month wait!! The Doctor was very handsome too! LOL  Medicaid gave me the aforementioned ride, but they were an hour late picking me up and I barely made my appointment on time. I paid my own way from then on by going Greyhound. To finance all the bus rides I pawned my best Guitar, Laptop and my Wedding Rings over the course of a year. To this day these items are still in the Pawn Shop! I am hoping to be able to get them out in a couple months! LOL I have sold almost all of my other valuables on Craigslist to finance my Transition. For almost two years I lived on one meal a day and going without other things, but I lost weight!
February 2017 - I don't keep up with Politics even though I know I should. My Counselor suggested that I hurry with my Legal Name and Sex Change because the new Trump Administration might make the procedure more difficult. She gave me a web link to a group that helps trans people pay for related costs. To my surprise and delight a very nice Lady donated the $150 for my Court costs! I filed in Court without a Lawyer. It's not hard, especially here in Oregon. Took three weeks for my Hearing and after the Judge asked me some personal (and in my opinion) innapropriate questions he granted my Legal Name and Sex Change!! Oh happy day!! I wasted no time at all in hopping on a city bus for the DMV! Since I could not afford the $80 for a new Driver's License I ended up surrendering my License in exchange for a free State ID. I know that this might not be an option for You dear reader. I haven't drove since December '16. 
It was also around this time that I realized my wonderful Wife was helping me from Heaven! I truly believe that to this day! My transition just seemed to fall right into place and I felt unstoppable! Pray to your loved ones is my advice here. They are like the Stars in Heaven shining Love upon us and they want us to be happy. Guardian Angels!
March 2017 - Bad News! My Breast Augmentation was denied by my CCO because I smoked cigarettes! I asked if I could take a Nicotene Test and was told that if I passed my surgery could be approved. So I quit smoking and drank gallons of Cranberry Juice and Water! My test was scheduled for only 5 days out, but I passed! This bump in the road delayed me by a month, but there would still be enough time for healing prior to my SRS appointment in July.
April 2017 - I came out to my Landlord and was afraid that He would make me move. Instead he preached to me about how I was going to go to Hell for altering my body and taking hormones! I grinned and beared his abuse because I could not afford to move and there is a very serious housing shortage in Oregon. One of my neighbors did not approve of my Transition either and one night he verbally and then physically attacked me! I called the Police, but since there were no marks on me it became my word against his. I am sure the Officer knew something happened, but his hands were tied. I also reported the incident to my Landlord whom called my neighbor. Whatever was said that neighbor never talked to me again.
By this time I had changed my Name with Social Security, Utilities and my Bank (which turned out to be the hardest. I also got my new corrected Birth Certificate!
May 2017 - Breast Augmentation Complete! OMG I love them!!
July 2017 - This month started out with my first (and hopefully only) Heart Attack! Just one day before my SRS Consultation. A Stent was placed and the Doctor wanted me in the Hospital for a week, but after explaining how I had been waiting for eight month on my SRS they let reluctantly let me sign myself out AMA. My Daughter drove 5 hours from her home town to run me up to Portland and we made my appointment on time!
The Doctor was very surprised that I came right after a Heart Attack, but I explained how important it was to me and I think he understood. One thing for sure is that he had to  notice how sincerely I needed SRS. Due to my Heart Attack I would be required to wait one year because SRS is considered as an "Elective Surgery". I disagree with this, but it is what is right? The Doctor was booked up for a year any way so I would take advantage of this time by getting myself in the best physical shape. That was a very long year though. I lived in fear of having another Heart Attack and I still do to this day.
September 2017 - The idea occured to me that I might be able to live with just an Orchiectomy. I thought it might "Pacify" my extreme Gender Dysphoria until I could finally get SRS. I inquired about it at OHSU and was given a prompt Consultation. Surgery set for November 2017!!!
November 2017 - One day before my Orchiectomy I received a text with a MyChart message. At first I assumed it was just a surgery reminder, but luckilly I checked it because my Surgery had been Cancelled!! No one ever called to inform me. With eyes flooded by tears I called the Doctor and begged!! He wanted to check with my Cardiologist first and with his blessing the surgery would happen!! That took about 45 minutes and then my Doctor called me back with the good news!
Ladies, you have to be your own Advocate with your Medical Care. "The squeeky wheel gets the oil!". I never waited for a call. I called them instead and I was very polite while expressing my urgency. Be kind and respectful, especially to those in a postion to help you. And don't forget Thank You cards! Believe me they help!
At this time I was freed from Testosterone! Tucking was easier too, but after just a few days I knew that I desperately needed the SRS. 
December 2017 - My Counselor had already told me about another organization that helps Trans people with costs. I had already applied each month, but my fourth time was the charm and I was given $650 for Facial Laser Hair Removal! I should have taken care of my Face years ago, but I could never afford it. Luck struck again when I told my Aesthetician how I was having trouble finding someone to provide the required Genital Hair Removal. Turns out that she does it! Afterwards she refers me to an Electrologist! Both of these ladies have become dear friends and they continue to rid me of these darn hairs. Focusing on the rest of my body now.
Also this month my boyfriend moved in with me! We agreed to split the bills which gave me the money for Electrolysis!
February 2018 - My Landlord terminates my apartment with a "No Cause Eviction" (Legal in this State). My two years of paying my rent on time and being a good neighbor mean absolutely nothing to my Landlord. He will not give me a reason, but my Intuition tells me that It is because I am Trans. No use fighting it. We move. To my surprise within two weeks my Deposit is fully refunded and I have the remaining balance due on my Electrolysis! Now I start to feel like it's really going to happen! SRS at last!
March 2018 - OHSU calls with good news! I am offered someone's surgery date because they cancelled! It's an early April date! OMG!  Just three weeks away!! One week until Pre-Op visits!! I buy my Greyhound Ticket and get all packed up to go. First thing in the morning when I am suppose to catch my Greyhound bus the office calls regretting to inform me that the Anesthetist and Doctor both wanted to wait until my original July date. I was devastated, even though it would only be three more months. You see, my Gender Dysphoria was at it's worst and I was close to self-mutilation. I reasoned that I could just cut it off, right outside the Emergency Room and then get stitched up minus the birth defect. That's how desperate my mind was due to Dissociating. Took a few days, but I got over the delay and continued with Electrolysis. 
May 2018 - Feeling strong now! My time at Planet Fitness and riding my Bike are what did it! I would be in top condition for my Surgery. 
June 2018 - Pre-Op Appointments!!
July 11, 2018 - This Violet Bloomed!!
August 2018 - Reflecting on my twenty month Journey through Transgender Hell. I have enough stories to write a book about! These days I am completely satisfied and grateful to be a Transsexual Woman. I never thought I would make it this far! Some dreams were made to come True! On a Dime and a Prayer ?

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